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Insomnia Jokes


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#1 Tommy ToXen

    Goat Worshipping Sleep-Challenged World Dominators Club


  • 153 posts
  • Worksop

Posted 10 November 2011 - 12:43 PM

Laughter has always been mankind's best medicine.


Doctor: Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.

Patient: I know, but I can't... my wife refuses to sleep alone.

--

Stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

--

Just took some sleeping pills but they don't seem to be wor

--

Wife: “You told me so many bad things in your sleep last night!”
Husband: “Who was asleep?”

--

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

--

An insomniac to his friend: “I have tried everything! I just can’t sleep!!”
Friend: “Have you tried counting sheep? I have heard that nobody can count beyond a thousand sheep!”
Insomniac: “Hmm, I will try that tonight.”

Next day the friend asks insomniac: “Did the sheep counting work?”
Insomniac: “Nope!”
Friend: “What happened?”
Insomniac: “I counted up to a thousand sheep! I still could not sleep. So I sheared the sheep, and made a thousand jackets. But I still could not sleep”
Friend: “Why, weren’t you tired?”
Insomniac: “I was but I just kept wondering where to store a thousand jackets! My house is so small!

--

Sam: “I haven’t slept for three days!”
Peter: “Wow! Then you must be very tired!”
Sam: “No, I sleep at nights.

--
Oi oi.
Tommy ToXen

#2 MarinaFournier

    Getting Addicted


  • 192 posts
  • Campbell CA USA

Posted 10 November 2011 - 10:29 PM

View PostTommy ToXen, on 10 November 2011 - 12:43 PM, said:

Laughter has always been mankind's best medicine.

These were priceless--I cackled like mad, and my MiL's watercolor class wondered just what I was reading!
❦ If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful ❧ William Morris❦

#3 sleepy lies

    Getting Addicted


  • 110 posts
  • Belgium

Posted 11 November 2011 - 10:07 PM

These are great. Thanks!
Healthy people wish for all kind of things, insomniacs only for one thing.

#4 Martin

    Site Founder


  • 1,481 posts
  • Northern Oregon Coast, USA

Posted 14 November 2011 - 08:13 PM

Great! Thanks for sharing, Tommy!



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